


Hateful Heart

by mariabumby



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: AU where Riza hates roys guts and its wonderful, Alternate Universe, Angst, Attempted Suicide, F/M, Happy Ending, poetic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 15:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariabumby/pseuds/mariabumby
Summary: 1Picture disappearing from the world with nothing but your embracing a small child. Be gone enough long enough and you live up to become her only world. And her small hand will rest on your contented smile, until the world comes back knocking.'Get out''I've come to inquire about th-'Get out.' A door is slammed.And the world is another child with a puppy, asking to be the rival to your heart because he's heard you do alchemy. He's never heard of your flames, and he's nothing, no money. No harm spending time with nothing, you figure. And your teenage daughter decides, she needs to learn how to shoot someone.Because nothing deserved your time and attention. And if it's nothing, just nothing. Why did Roy boy these years later, start becoming to look like somebody? What were you really thinking of, professor Berthold Hawkeye?





	Hateful Heart

(berthold)

1   
Picture disappearing from the world with nothing but your embracing a small child. Be gone enough long enough and you live up to become her only world. And her small hand will rest on your contented smile, until the world comes back knocking.

'Get out'  
'I've come to inquire about th-  
'Get out.' A door is slammed.

And the world is another child with a puppy, asking to be the rival to your heart because he's heard you do alchemy. He's never heard of your flames, and he's nothing, no money. No harm spending time with nothing, you figure. And your teenage daughter decides, she needs to learn how to shoot someone.

Because nothing deserved your time and attention. And if it's nothing, just nothing. Why did Roy boy these years later, start becoming to look like somebody? What were you really thinking of, professor Berthold Hawkeye?

 

 

(narrator)

2  
A habit she develops, through the passage of time. Gritting her teeth coming home from school quiet curses to the dog that greeted her because theres that boy's muffled laughter inside. She pets the dog occasionally, confesses truths to it, sometimes lies.

And this is why it's difficult to grasp the gravitas when roy openly argued with his professor with Riza watching, smiling. When the professor slammed the door to his study, and Roy packed his things in a torrent, ready to leave. Riza wouldn't let him borrow an umbrella, and Roy was drenched in rain calling for his dog sammie to please come with him to leave.

The dog cocked his head and wagged his tail by Riza's feet.  
'His name is black hayate'  
'No it's sammie, come boy, come with me' the dog's ear perk up with Roy snapping his fingers.  
'Hayate stay' the dog bucks down, loyal. Roy how does it feel? years but she got back at you, and you leave lonelier than how you started.

 

 

3

She never mumbled curses in front of Roy, but with the few words they've exchanged she's stated at least one the following:

(1) I may be banned from learning alchemy, but I'm a perfect shot with a gun  
(2) Betray my father, and I will kill you. Most importantly,  
(3) I hate you and never come near me.

And he's treated it like a checklist, when he comes home in the detested military uniform, argues with father, literally argued him to sickening death, and Riza cocks her gun, saying you knew this is coming. And he ducks, lunges at her desperate, wrestles to disarm her of her gun, pins her to the wall, begs her to listen, he'll explain. But there's too much will in her fight and her rage is too fresh.

She's rehearsed this too long and instinct pins the murderer who took her whole world away, and in this single moment she is a cup made empty. There is nothing she feels when Roy manages to whimper to the cold barrel of the gun.  
'You never gave me a chance'  
She wanted to laugh. You were supposed to be nothing. Now I'm the nothing, and she slams the butt of her gun on his temple that sends him into a flash of white heat then blackness.

Roy doesn't understand if it could be called mercy that he wakes alongside his dead professor's body, and pays and attends the burial service alone. How do you lead life when you're given second chances? His professor's last words to him was to protect that daughter. That there are final research notes. Now how convoluted would that be, that gesture.

Does she look like she needs a saviour?

 

4  
They meet again, in the heat of a much larger battle, both blood stained right through, in the dessert in a time of too much war. She saves him once more, with a clean head shot to an enemy, just cause Roy's a higly ranked alchemy based officer, and he's interrogating, dumbfounding.

'Why haven't you killed me? I'm losing my mind'  
'Cause it's not righteous if  _you_  want to die.' She says easy and Roy wants to strangle this face that came out of nowhere. Why haunt me? If-

'Then help me. Where are professor Berthold's damn notes?'  
They hold each other's glares, feel the winds surge through tents until roy quietly pipes: 'Do you want us to survive?'

 

 

 

5

Deafening tension, air like soup you could wade through. The girl you grew up with, naked with incantations scripted on the back of her body. She feigns bravery, but her stiffness is only telling of nerves. Roys fingers graze lightly on inliad ink. In his nights of study, the two are in synchronized panic.

Until the last night, when Roy snaps and baptizes the world on fire, and accepts the burden of becoming its overnight author, or monster.

 

 

6

This time with sincerity. This time with conviction, Roy cocks the gun and places it in his mouth and places the gun in lieutenant Riza Hawkeye's fingers. You have every right. You have every reason. Please bury me along with this true murderer of an alchemy, (I've erased what i should off the marks on your back, you will be safe.) I am finished,

'Now, allow me to die'  
She shoves him, tips the gun out, unloads the barrel and slaps him solid with her free hand. She winces from the streched bandages from her burnt back, too much torque on the impact where this hate is not the opposite of love. This is not a proper semblance of it, but Riza still can't figure this out, so you're not given permission to end, You're not even allowed to talk about it colonel mustang.

'You don't have to save me every time. Not when I lose myself to the dark' roy closes back tears. 'I won't sir'.

'I don't trust my own decisions anymore' his voice breaks. And in a rare note of kindness, Riza replies: 'Trust this. trust mine.

 

 

7

And when the world devolves into hell he is sure of one thing: he liked it better when it was only you Riza, who was trying to kill me.

But it never worked the way we expected it. And we save each other a few more times. We hold each other hostage, for the rest of our lives.


End file.
